So this time, I didn't really go anywhere...
Here's how it happened: in the early hours of the morning I awoke, or awoke about 75% percent of the way, with a guilty conscience. You know the sort of thing I mean - I'm pretty sure there's a technical name for it, but I can't be bothered trying to find it. You're aware that you're in bed, at least most of the time, and you rather suspect that you're still asleep, but the odd little fantasies which your mind throws at you are still convincing enough.
The guilt was for two things: it seemed I'd gone to bed without turning off the TV, and the noise was part of what had made me wake up. The other thing was that I'd promised my daughter to ask something of the next door neighbour. I'd asked, but now I completely forgot what the answer had been, and my daughter wanted that answer. I fretted and fretted over what the neighbour had said, but I couldn't recall it. Eventually I remembered that I'd written it down. Obviously all I needed to do was to read my note, which was mysteriously suddenly in front of me.
Now, I don't know about anyone else, but in my dreams it's extremely difficult to read.As I tried to read the note, I realised that I must actually be asleep still since I couldn't read the damn thing.
With a mighty effort I managed to read it, or perhaps to remember what the neighbour had said - both seemed to happen at the same time, but this also meant that I woke up completely. Never mind, I need to get up to turn the TV off anyway. "Swimming Practice" the note said. Ah yes, that was right, the neighbour's daughter might have swimming practice on a Thursday, so she would probably be busy.
Then I realised that we weren't neighbours any more - we're not in that house now, were a couple of thousand miles away or more, I couldn't have asked the neighbour anything at all. Silly me, I must have still been asleep and dreaming when I read the note. I decided to get up and turn off the TV once I'd regaled my daughter with the silly dream - so I called her in (oddly enough she was just outside, even though it was still about 3 a.m.) - and I told her all about it.
I was about to get up and turn the TV off when I remembered that my daughter is in her second year at college, way up in Colorado, and I couldn't have told her anything. Silly me, I must still have been asleep and dreaming when I had that conversation. Still, at least now I could get up and turn the TV off, right after I'd told this silly story to my wife. So I turned over to tell her all about it. Oddly enough she was awake too, and didn't mind being told the whole saga.
Then I remembered that my wife was in Africa on business, so I couldn't possibly have told her the story. Silly me, I must have still been asleep and dreaming when I told her about it - I'm in the house on my own at the moment. Still, now I was properly awake, I could go and turn that bloody TV off.
I got halfway out of bed when I realised that I hadn't left the TV on at all...
I gave up and went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I'm actually awake now, but the whole thing reminded me of an old Jim Stafford song -
Someone, somewhere went to sleep,
And dreamed us all alive.
Dreams get pushed around a lot, and I doubt if we'll survive.
We wont get to wake up, dreams are born to disappear...
And I'm pretty sure that none of us are here.